Tak Salah nak Benci Diri Sendiri?

Dengan Nama Allah Yang Maha Pemurah Lagi Maha Penyayang.

Assalamualaikum dan Salam 1 Dunia.

Currently pukul 3.05am, February 21^st, 2011. Hurm..actually, I don’t have any interesting idea on what I’m going to update, but this is just a kind of good sharing I think to be exposed here. The purpose of this sharing is not for only my own good, but all the readers can take note on what had happen to me because of my bad habit. Seriously, I really hate the condition I am right now. Staying up late at early in the morning while all of my roommates having their wet dreams on beds! I’m fucking jealous of them. But what can I say is “served me right!” This is the best phrase that suits me this moment. What happen? Actually, I’m having a lot of workload because of my bad habit which is “tangguh kerje” or delaying the job given. Demmit! Almost all the time I’m having this kind of situation and I think this is the worst! So, what can I tell you guys, I hate myself right now because I’m not committed in what I’m supposed to do. Regret? No use for that. Wasting time meh!  Because of this habit of mine, I force myself to be very committed for at least today and yesterday, I abused myself by having time to berkampung at my campus’s academic block. Started yesterday’s morning to have a small discussion with my team-mates and then having break for lunch. The saddest thing is, I don’t have time to enjoy my meal for lunch. Then, at 3pm, we moved the discussion venue to another place and I supposed to finish all the things by the night (last night). Surprisingly, I don’t even have time to go back to my hostel for rest, just went back there for having myself clean and asar prayer. Another 2 of my group member already chow kit road! Soooooo geram u know! Then I went back to the discussion place and my Chinese friends still there and also not going back to his hostel. Then, for maghrib, I performed the prayer at the surau in the academic block and start to work out on the solution of our problem. Another two members came back to the discussion room at 9pm. What a late friend! At that time, I already feel that I’ve lost a lot of energy for not having any meal for the whole day. Then, I ignored all the surrounding and stay focus on the solution. Yes, on my own without anybody’s help. That’s what we called independent. In just 30 minutes, I’ve already solve the problem on my part of calculation by using Ms Excel Spread Sheet. Just a simple calculation but then I have to move on the next part which is grouping part. Actually, we need to do this part together but because of they ignored all the things, and I started to do it alone. Yes! Alone guys! So sad u know. What are they doing? Just babbling around one another. So sakit hati! And then for a few hours later, around 12.30am, we went back to our hostel and I started to think about resting! Hurm.. And then around 2am, I started with another task to be done since I have to submit it tomorrow. Hurm... yesterday was a very bad day to me.

What I hate about myself?

1.      I hate for delaying my job till I have the situation where there’s workload on me.  What if I already done my part early before? So nice right. I can enjoy having nice sleep with a very nice wet dream and maybe Jessica Alba come and sleep with me in my dreams! Hahaha.

2.      For not being honest on what I’m feeling. Actually, in group tasking situation, we have to be very fair enough in dividing the task to others. In this situation, I’ve already help my groups to finish all the things and at the same time the other member help themselves resting. Hurm.. what a good sacrifice kan.

This is just a sharing moment and my experience and I hope that all the readers can take it as one of the pengajaran. And I’m proud to be myself for at least this time. 

P/S: This is just an autopost. sorry! i'm so busy right now..wish me luck for my presentation the day after tomorrow. have a nice day~!